


If Only...

by dean_n_pie



Series: A Fic A Day [10]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, M/M, Not A Happy Ending, break-up, fotd, sam x alcohol otp
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-26
Updated: 2013-09-26
Packaged: 2017-12-27 15:49:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 860
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/980764
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dean_n_pie/pseuds/dean_n_pie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gabriel breaks up with Sam.</p>
            </blockquote>





	If Only...

**Author's Note:**

> i have no explanation. again
> 
> angsty. 
> 
> for some reason i really like making my babies experience pain so yeah
> 
> uh all!human bc its too complicated otherwise. 
> 
> woo~~~~angst

"Sam, I just- I think we should break up."

Sam gapes, looking at Gabriel. Gabriel refuses to meet Sam’s eyes.

"I don’t know, Sam, I just feel like we haven’t really been _together_ together for a while now, and maybe…” Gabriel trails off, picking up his duffel and swinging it over his shoulder. “Maybe we should end it.”  


“Wait - Gabe - What?” Sam stutters, mind-reeling.

Gabriel sighs, raising his head and looking Sam in the eye.

"I don’t want to be with you anymore. I’m leaving," Gabriel says, finally looking at Sam.

Sam’s mind is racing, searching for anything that should have clued him in to the fact that Gabriel is leaving, is leaving him, is ending everything. “Was it something I did, because Gabe, I can change, I promise - we don’t have to end things-“

But Gabriel cuts him off. “I’m not gonna make a cheesy ‘it’s not you, it’s me’ speech because we both know that’s absolute bull. We just - we want different things, Sam.”

Sam opens his mouth to speak, but Gabriel continues talking. “It was awesome while it lasted, alright? But we’ve both changed a lot over the past few years. And I - I don’t think I love you anymore. Sure, I still want to talk to you and joke around with you - but I don’t want to _be with you_ like that anymore.”

Tears in his eyes, Sam tries to speak, tries to reassure Gabriel that he’s still the man he fell in love with, but he notices he can’t make a sound. His throat has long since closed up, and he can barely breathe. He can do nothing but listen as Gabriel slowly breaks his heart.

"For what it’s worth, I am sorry it ended this way." And there is remorse in Gabriel’s eyes, but there is no indecision, no hint of a second thought. Sam finds he can finally speak again.

"Gabe…"

"Sam, don’t."

Gabriel averts his eyes, and then turns and walks out of the apartment, throwing out a soft “I’m sorry” before closing the door and leaving Sam staring after him. Sam stumbles over to the counter and uses it as support. He’s breathing heavily and his face is burning. He can feel the tears starting to build up, but he refuses to look at the room. Seeing all of Gabriel’s stuff not in its place - that would destroy him.

xxxx

It is late at night, and Sam’s sitting in an old armchair in his apartment. There’s a bottle of Jack Daniel’s on the side table, half full. There were about 5 more in the trash. It had been 3 days since Gabriel left. Sam is slumped over, hands digging into his eyes as he tries to forget all the good memories he had made with Gabriel.

_Sitting on a park bench in the snow, sitting close together, sharing a hot chocolate-_

_Walking down the street on a hot summer day, planning on heading to the beach. When it starts to rain, you stand together and he kisses you-_

_At your graduation, his eyes beaming as you accept your diploma (Valedictorian) and give your speech. He comes up afterwards and whispers words of praise and adoration in your ear-_

Sam groans, leaning back against the armchair and taking another swig of alcohol. He fumbles in his pockets for his phone, grabbing randomly until he pulls it out. He thumbs to the contacts page and stares at Gabriel’s name.

He presses the _Call_ button.

"Hey, this is Gabe Novak. You know what to do."

Sam lets out a soft gasp at the sound of Gabriel’s voice. He hears the faint beep directing him to leave a message, so he slurs out an “I miss you.

"I miss the way you would hold my hand. I miss the way you’d complain about your day, but we’d both know you wouldn’t trade it for the world. I miss the way you would comfort me when I was in a difficult place. I miss the way you would joke around with me, how you’d make me laugh with every word when all I wanted to do was cry.

"Gabe - I miss you so much. Please, please, whatever I did, whatever made you want to leave - just tell me, just tell me and we can work it out. I promise I’ll change whatever you need me to, I’ll do everything I can to make you love me again.

"I love you, Gabe … Why did you stop loving me?" Sam finishes on a whisper, words barely being choked out among the pain in his chest and tightness of his throat. 

He hears a second beep, indicating his time is up. He drops his phone to the ground, curling up in the chair and putting his arm over his face.

 _Everyone’s always said eyes are the window to the soul,_ Sam thought morosely. _Well, Gabriel’s eyes said everything they needed to that night._

He fights the drowsiness for one moment longer, enough for one last thought. 

_Everything will be better in the morning._

He tells himself this every night. Every night he has his own rebuttal.

_No it won’t._


End file.
